Reasons why you aren’t sleeping

Or possibly why you can’t sleep.

There are endless number of reasons why sleep isn’t an option for you or your friend tonight, or you might be reading this 3AM, who knows.

Here are list of reasons why sleep just isn’t an option:

1. You have challenged yourself to finish your favourite TV series
You simply will not sleep until you accomplish.
This is a terrible, TERRIBLE idea. Just saying.

2. Gaming, gaming, gaming.
This is another TERRIBLE idea.
You have successfully convinced yourself that ONE MORE FUCKING LEVEL and you’ll sleep. No, don’t lie to yourself, it isn’t healthy.
ONE MORE GAME and you’ll sleep, lol, what a joke. Omg so funny, you’re such a jokester. It’s a safer bet to hope for the electricity to go out in order for you to stop playing rather than having self control.
You have convinced yourself that you simply need to be better than everyone else that you know and you won’t stop until you have surpassed them. If that’s the case, I give you my best.

3. You’re a motherfucking rebel.
You’re the baddest badass of them all.

4. You have that essay/assignment/homework to finish or an exam to study for.
Yay for procrastination. It’s amazing isn’t it. Why yes, yes it is.
Now you are blessed with an endless night of worry and stress to get your shit done.
And you probably won’t get your shit done properly because at this point you’re all like, “fuck this shit, i just need to get this done. shit, shit, shit, fuck, ugh, fuck it”
Yeah, we’ve all been there and we dread it, yet it happens more than we expect.

Now, here are some reasons why sleep isn’t your friend tonight:

1. “You’re awake in someone else’s dream”.
Yeah, bullshit.
Stop making excuses trying to make yourself feel better about not being able to sleep due to some psychological issue your facing.

2. You’re hungry.
You probably haven’t eaten in about 4+ hours.
Go give yourself some food.
Trust me.
I just had some food and now I feel like fucking dropping dead like a fucking hippo.

3. You’re probably too full.
Why the fuck would you stuff yourself before sleep?
Try waiting it out for an hour or two.
Yeah, your hunger level needs to be just right in order to fall asleep.

4. You’re probably too excited for the next day.
I know I told you that lying to yourself is bad, but in this situation, it’s probably your best chance at sleeping if you don’t want to be a zombie during your day of excitement.

5. You’re thinking too much.
Stop. Stop it right now. Think of a white canvas.
And some raindrops or some nature-y thing.
Thinking = anxiety.
Don’t be anxious. Who the fuck cares. Just fuck it. It’s probably not worth it.
Thinking = worrying.
Is that in the same family as anxiety?
Either way, stop. It’s not doing you any good if you haven’t noticed.Now close your fucking eyes and go the fuck to sleep.


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