I’m Lazy

Fucking deal with it.
We all are, deal with it.
Don’t hate just because I’m better at accepting and embracing the fact than you.
You all lazy fuckers in denial.

Why is being lazy so frowned upon?
You all hypocrites.
It’s really not that bad.
I mean, we aren’t lazy ALL the times.
Just most of the time.
Which is kind of like all the time.
But still.
It’s really not that bad.

Okay, I have way too many things I want to say in this post regarding this topic and I tried to make it somewhat organized so I spent much time trying to make is sequential but I give up. I can’t, I just can’t.
But pat on the back for trying.

Oh great, now I forgot what I was going to write because of stupid text messages and didn’t want to be a fucking jerk for responding 29149028401 years later.

Oh right.
Don’t expect me to do things with you, this should be a given.
I swear it should be in like a friendship contract or something.

“I am lazy and not willing to do many activities that require me to dress nice
If you are still willing to be my friend sign here


That would be very helpful and whenever my friends complain about me being lazy I can just pull it out and refresh their memory.

But it’s not all bad.
Because I am lazy, very lazy, I have low standards of what is considered fun.
Well, low expectations in general.
Low expectations of people.
But then when my low expectations are proven true I get all emotional and sad.
I don’t think I can count that as a pro…Oh, I save you money.
Since I am lazy to do outdoor activities, I keep you from doing outdoor activities and spending money too.
You’re welcome.
Also, I remind you of all the fun that you can have in your house too.
Don’t get dirty with me.
Don’t ruin my innocent mind you filthy minded people.

Okay, actually no.
It’s not that great being friends with someone lazy.
I mean, I wouldn’t want to be friends with me for the most time.
Sometimes I get so lazy that I avoid any events that lead me to take a shower, yeah, it’s true.
Sometimes I won’t shower unless I HAVE to go somewhere and need to be presentable because not showering for 3 days is socially unacceptable.
I know y’all do it do, don’t be all “EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.”
You fucking hypocrite.
Don’t judge me, this is supposed to be an open space.
But don’t worry, I don’t have lice or anything.
And I do brush my teeth ok, I’m anal about brushing my teeth.
Okay, not when I get super lazy then it’s just all “Fuck it.”

(I’m not even going to put a proper ending for this because I’m too lazy to make one up, yeah, no closure for you.)


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