Well, this is awkward

I convince myself that I am not awkward, but when I come across situations, I can’t help but realize that I will always be awkward and it is a phase that I will never get over.

1. Accidentally leaving my phone in a bathroom stall
This has happened one too many times.
I leave my phone on top of the toilet paper roll thing, I clearly have no ability to explain/describe something in a coherent way. But, I just kind of leave it on there because I don’t like to have my phone in my pocket and I casually just walk out, wash my hands, leave the bathroom, reach for my phone only to realize that I have left my phone in the stall once again.
I awkward do the walk of shame back into the stall and hope to find my phone there, which I do, and awkwardly walk back out of the stall and the washroom with people looking at me weirdly.
They’re probably thinking “why is this girl leaving without washing her hands????”

2. Saying the wrong words
I can recall the two most awkward/embarrassing moments this has happened.
This was not too long ago:

A friend and I went to the store to pick something up, but that’s irrelevant. He said that no one has pick him up before, so I took this upon myself to do so.
I have never picked someone up before, so I decided to use the classic Joey line from Friends. The Joey line is my specialty and I had confident that I was going to nail it, clearly I overestimated myself.
I looked at him up and down and said “What are you doing”

There was an awkward silence and we both broke out in laughter, but hey, at least I was able to laugh at myself.

The second one happen some time ago

My friends and I were talking about getting our licences and how some of them has already gotten theirs and how I haven’t even gotten my first one yet. I had no intention of my getting my G1 yet and didn’t see a reason to, but they all wanted to drive.
I should have just stayed quiet but I said “Who needs their licence to drive? Like, hellooooooo, where is my chaperon,” instead of saying chauffeur.

They just thought I was very stupid.

3. Talking to my mom’s friends
Sometimes they talk to me and I wonder “DO YOU NOT FEEL AWKWARD??”
I try my best to suppress these feeling and/or thoughts but I just end up looking hella confused and weird. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to. It’s not that I don’t like talking to you, I just feel a very awkward tension, or I just tend to create one.

4. Going to a store and an acquaintance happens to be working
Should it be more awkward for me or for them?
For some reason I feel really awkward, like, can I really order something from you? Should I try making small talks? Do I ask formally? Do I ask informally? What do I do?
I’m probably over-thinking the whole situation.

5. Talking to children
I have no idea how to talk to them for the first time.
I guess it’s like that with whoever you talk to for the first time, BUT THEY’RE CHILDREN, HOW WRONG CAN YOU BE?
I don’t know if I try to act like I know them, be authoritative, or ??????
So then I just kind of end up laughing a lot and looking weird.
I act more like a child than them.

Do you relate
Can you relate
May you relate

I don’t know how to end this post
I guess
I’ll just


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