This is for you

I really enjoy talking to you.
You bring a smile upon my face and you don’t even realize it.
I get excited to be in your presence.
I get all giddy inside, but I don’t show it.
I like you.
And I mean it.
Even as I type this, the mere thought of you brings smile to my face and a fuzzy-warm feeling in my heart.
But I don’t always express myself and it sucks.
It sucks for both you and I.
I wish I could, but I’m scared.
I am scared, and I should make myself vulnerable, but I’m not strong enough.
I lack courage to do so, but I really want to open up to you about all my thoughts and feelings.
But what will you think of me?

Sometimes I don’t know what to say and I end up looking stupid.
Sometimes I don’t know how to respond and the conversation dies.
I’m a nervous wreck when I start a conversation with you.
It’s even worst when it’s not in person.
If I text you first and you respond, I get nervous from the thought of all the different possible responses.
As always, I imagine the worst.
Do you think I’m being self-centred when I talk about myself?
I only want you to know about me.
But I also want to know more about you.

I don’t know where this is going to go, but I hope it goes somewhere good.
I hope it leads us to a good place.

This is for all the people I love and care.
Thank you for sticking by my side.
Some, I’m closer to than others and I have less fear and more courage.
But others, please bare with me.
I’m trying my hardest.


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