1/365: Exhaust

9AM classes are a bad, bad, bad idea. They should not be happening.

It’s time to face the truth, I need more sleep.

I’m slacking in the “getting all my readings done for class” department. Well, given up sounds for accurate in my situation. There are still so many assignments and tests to study for, and there’s only one more month left until exams.

I feel hopeless. I don’t believe that I can get everything done. I don’t know when to get everything done. I don’t know where to find the time nor how to manage it. I feel overwhelmed. I’ve been on top of my studies since day one, yet I am still bombarded with papers and essays to write. This makes me feel defeated. I’m at loss. I didn’t want to feel like this. I thought I could avoid this feeling if I stayed on track since day one, but turns out  it has only been an illusion in my mind. This entire situation is making me feel exhausted. Exhausted to know that all my efforts got me nowhere.

I want to give up, but at the same time I don’t want to, so I don’t. I have one note month left and I feed to power through.

I keep going because I know either way I’m going to regret it. So why not do something and regret rather than not doing it and regretting it. I have invested so much time into my studies that it’s just such a waste to give up now. I think I deserve to give it my all. I have come too far to throw it away. I’ll give myself one day off to catch up on sleep and, hopefully, de-exhaust myself.

I think I’m going to be late for class, again.

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