On Edge

Anxiety comes over me.
Or is this stress,
I’m not really sure what I feel anymore.
All my emotions are jumbled into one.
I try to calm myself, but from what?
I don’t know.
All I know is that I’m on edge.

I’m not sure what I need to do.
I don’t know what I know or what I don’t know.
I’m just forever searching for something, anything, to help me out of this mess.
For someone to take me away from everything.
But even if someone tried, I won’t let them,
Because I am on edge.

I neglect everything, and everyone.
I crave people, but I want them to stay away.
To stay as far away from me as they can.
I can fall any moment and I might drag them down with me.
I don’t want them to fall.
I don’t want them to know what I know.
All because I am on edge.

I don’t know how to be save.
I don’t know what can save me.
I don’t know if I even need saving.
Maybe I don’t need saving.
Maybe I can save myself.
Maybe this is all just a mind game of my own that I need to overcome.
My mind puts me on edge.

I sit on the edge of my mind.
An edge that doesn’t exist,
and edge that only I can get rid of.
Someone come sit with me.
Let me know that I am not alone.
But how will you come sit with me if I don’t tell you?
If I don’t want you to know, how will you know?
Can you trust me?
Can I trust you?
Can I trust myself?


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