One of the better days.
Not the best but what’s the fun if there’s no journey.
The journey makes some days better than others.

— on a side note, I need to start writing regularly.
But every day is boring that I can’t bring myself to jibber on for a paragraph.
But I guess it’s just all about perspectives.
Finding a different perspective in my day, and looking at things differently.
Thinking about the little things that have passed me by when I didn’t pay attention to them —

For the past couple days, I have been having an overwhelming feeling of anxiety.
I could not, for the life of me, shake off the feeling that something terrible was going to happen, that something terrible was already in process of happening.
I may have a negative feeling about everything, but it was particularly bad.

I finished work and I thought that I was thinking about something, something that may or may not have been important, but I couldn’t get myself to remember what it was again.
Ever since, the bad feeling just continued to linger, and I still am thinking about what I was thinking about 3 days ago.

— let’s go on a tangent because I have no idea what I was going to talk about —

I am feeling better.
I feel like I can breathe.
I can see where I am.
I see who I am.
I don’t feel so lost.
I’m trying, but for once, I feel like if I keep trying I’m going to get somewhere, anywhere.

While I feel fine, I still feel trapped.
I don’t know who I am. I don’t know how I got here, I don’t know where I’m going.
I feel like something got lost along the way but I don’t know where.
I turn 20 but I feel like I’m turning 12.
I can’t grasp the concept of time, like it doesn’t exist.
Time is what keeps me going and what makes me who I am, but it’s so foreign to me.

Everything moves by so fast.
I slow things down but it doesn’t help. The only thing it slows down is the rate at which my brain is processing, and it just makes me feel more disoriented.

— okay, let’s talk about something else because this is not helping me
It’s a topic for a new day —

Rainbows and unicorns.

Coffee makes my day.
Two cups of coffee may stain your teeth, but keeps the symptoms of cold suppressed.
(I don’t know if the later part is actually true)


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