Day 8.5: In all seriousness

Everything is so serious.
We are so serious.
When we act our age, when we express ourselves and enjoy ourselves, we are told to grow up, we are told to stop acting like a child
But we are children, are we not?
They are children, are they not?

You graduate middle school at the age of 13. You are told that you need to start thinking ahead, to start thinking about university. What courses you want to take. The grades you need to achieve to get accepted into a well recognized university.
When they do poorly in school, they are told to grow up.
For heavens sake, they are 13/14.

By grade 12 you’re 18. They don’t trust you but you need to act like an adult, act trustworthy.
By this time, you are expected to have your life figured out.
You’re not even allow to have alcohol, legally, for goodness sake.
You are not trusted with “adult” responsibilities but supposed to act like adults.
By now, you should most definitely have your life figured out.
When you’re going to get married.
Start pursuing relationships to be married by mid-20s.
Do well in university.
Get a high GPA, high enough to get into grad school.
When you graduate, you need to get a job because employers are most hungry for fresh blood.
You have no time for yourself trying to find a stable job.
When you do get hired, you can’t take time off for vacation for at least the first year you are there because you need to seem responsible and dependable to fully secure your spot at the corporation, institution or whatever job setting your are at.

When do we get to have fun with people we care about?
The relationships you get into turn serious because you think about marriage.
You think about who would be suitable for the long term.
You think about who this person is, whether they would be a good husband and father. Whether they will have a stable job in the future or not.
You think about if your parents and other family members will like, if they will accept him/her.
But at the same time, you try not to get too attached because people are uncertain.
When you don’t have a stable partner, everything around you worry that you will never get married and/or have children.
You become isolated in your thoughts because the thoughts are made up from what you’ve been told since birth.

In all of this, where do we take time for ourselves.
When are we going to be allowed to take time for ourselves.

By the time we settle down, our time for fun has passed.
When we do try, it is not an acceptable behaviour by us.
We are told to act our age.
We are told to be responsible. To be adults.
What we’ve been hearing all our lives.
By the time we want to have our fun, it’s time to have children, and now it’s their turn.
But subconsciously you tell your children what you’ve heard all your life as a child.
You want them to grow up responsibly, and so you restrict their fun.

In a sense, we’re machines.
Constantly programming ourselves.
And the society is the new motherboard we need to buy, so that we can act accordingly to fit into the box the society has created for us.

I’m tired.


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