9. The reasons for it all

I think I have a strange obsession. Or maybe everyone else does. But it’s not healthy.
I obsess, lust, over other people’s lives on social media. I look and wonder why it seems better than mine. It’s like I need to have the better life, always.
But it’s not just with celebrities, actually, I not with the celebrities at all because I see their lives from being so far removed from mine. I lust over the life of people I know. I want what they have in addition to what I already have.
If I obsess over it for too long I get upset. Upset with everything. I know it’s not healthy and I know what is going on, but I can’t stop it.
Maybe it’s not that I want their life, but more so with how I am unsatisfied with mine. I want everything but I don’t know what it is that I want, what it is that will satisfy me.
I just need to figure myself out away from people.
But I don’t know how to do that. At least not now.

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