This series will probably be a long one. I truly believe that my good habits come from the bad habits of my brother. Or at least I live on eggshells because of the bad habits of him.
He moved out last summer and it’s been a blessing in some ways. In many ways. In many ways because I no longer have to deal with his anger management issues, his disgusting dishes, his demands, amongst others.
But whenever he comes home he uses my things. He uses them like they’re his. He takes my face wash, takes my yoga mat, uses my skin care things, along with using the excuse of not being self-sufficient, acting like a child to have me make his food. (This is also a part of a reason why I grew up too fast resulting in many of my issues, and part because of my parents, which is a whole other story)
I know him using my stuff isn’t a big deal. I try not to make a fuss about it. I tell myself “he won’t be here long,” and that’s my mantra for sanity, but sometimes I snap. I snap not because he uses my things as if they are his, but he has absolutely no regard for other people’s property.
He has 0 care for it.
He doesn’t care that he accidentally spills half the bottle. He doesn’t care that after he uses it, there’s product all over the bottle. He doesn’t return it back to its original place. He stopped asking. He doesn’t care that he uses it all up. Doesn’t even see the need to mention it. Doesn’t care if he breaks it. Doesn’t care if it’s damaged. But he’s the not same with his own stuff and other people using it. That’s simply unacceptable. It’s always people who disregard other people’s property that is the most territorial.
If anything happens and I point it out, he tells me that I need to chill. That I need to calm down.
Either that or he takes the route of acting like a child.
I get frustrated not because he uses my stuff. I don’t even mind any more that he doesn’t put them back where they belong after using them. I get frustrated because he doesn’t understand the concept of “other people’s belonging.”
And sure, some may say that “oh, but you guys are siblings,” and yes, I get that. But you know what’s going to happen? It’s going to translate outside of the home. And into his new home. So yes, it is an issue. It’s more of an issue that he doesn’t see how it is an issue.
I guess my mom is also partly to blame. It’s never only one person’s fault. I guess she played a part when she downplays the importance of other people’s property and how they need to be respected.
I try to tell him, but he just won’t see it. It’s just a repeat of the same cycle whenever he comes home, and I’ve run out of idea of what to do about it. I’m just at the point of keeping it to myself. Bottling it, like I do with everything else. This is just the cherry on top.