Nearing end

I am scared.
I am nervous.
I am anxious.
I don’t know what’s going on with me; with my mind, my body, and my emotions.

I less than 1 month time, I will be done all my exams.
I will have completed my last year of university.
I will have reached a new milestone that I thought was so far away.
The result of this milestone will dictate and determine how far my next milestone will be.
It will determine how far I will go.
It can either open up opportunities or limit me.
I am scared.
I am scared that my lack of good grades will hold me back.
I am scared that I will not be good enough.
I am scared that I am not good enough.
I feel the need to be better, for a higher sense of security.
I want to feel safe, but I’m far from it.
I feel the weight of the world collapsing, one column at a time and I can’t stop it.
It’s going to happen either way.
I try to hold it up, I try to ignore the chaos that is happening within me. But I can’t.
I can’t ignore it even when I’m trying and it’s doing things to me.
I feel physically unwell, whether it’s the effect of all this anxiety, or if I have caught something along the way. No way to tell.
And I don’t want to find out.
I just want to be well.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s