18/365: You do you

Even as I write this, I am still a believer of whatever will or is meant to happen will happen, and if things are never meant to be, no matter which way you turn or how hard you try, it won’t align.
I guess some lines are just meant to be parallel.
You see it, and it’s so close, and you want it.
But you got to realize some day that it’s not going to happen.
You’ll spend the rest of your life chasing a line that’s formulated to be parallel to you.

But this doesn’t mean that you should just go along with whatever and wait for something to come along.
You gotta move your line to affect the other.
You are the variable that affects the formula.
When you change, you change your value.
A different value gets inputted into the formula and determines whether it will bring you closer to meeting a line, or further away.
And who knows, maybe it’ll reveal a new line that was never in your view.
But the bottom line is, you gotta actively change and grow and try.

Without effort, the change in your value is only ever so slight.
At that rate, you’ll spend your entire life waiting for something to happen.
I don’t want to be like that anymore
I used to believe, and lived believing that whatever is mine will come my way.
But how do I know if something is mine or not if I never try?
If this is the only thing I know, how do I know it’s the perfect fit for me or not.

I don’t want to put in minimal effort and expect big changes.
That was my motto for so long, “minimal effort for maximum results,”
and this usually meant that I settle for whatever I can get with the least amount of effort when I can easily put more effort in and get more out of it.
I’m not living to the maximum of my potential.
When I don’t see or use my potentials, they just disappear like they never exists and I don’t grow.
I’m just here.
I’m like a plant that forever waits for the sun to be right above me instead of growing towards the sun.

I need to change my ways.
I’m finding this out now, but better late than never.
I don’t want opportunities to pass through my fingers.
I don’t want people to pass me by.
I want to make connections and belong.
I want to be a part of something.

I got to pave my own path and not stop walking when the road ends.
Maybe it ended for a reason, and maybe the end isn’t really an end, but only another beginning.

So here I go.

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