Posted in Self-evaluation

20/365: Last night

Today is my last night here with my grandparents.
This is an recap of what has happened and what I’ve done here.

The first few nights I felt like this was going to be a long trip.
3 weeks.
A long, long vacation away from home, away from friends, away from communication.
Two things I can say for sure is that goodbyes are harder than I anticipated and it was an emotional rollercoaster.
I’m glad that it’s over but also wish that it would have lasted longer.

The first day we landed, it was just taking the bus to Daegu from Seoul to be picked up by my grandfather.
The second day, I met my dad. We had food and went shopping. It was nice to see him, not nice to see that he doesn’t take care of himself.
Sad to see that he doesn’t see the importance of his health or even is aware of what state his health is in.
On the third day, we took a trip up the mountain for the celebration of birth of Buddha and we went to the bath.
The next few nights were followed by more eating, meeting aunts and uncles, and more shopping.
It seems like just about everyday was basically eating and shopping.
Shopping for what, I don’t really know.
We went shopping in every mall in Daegu, or it seemed. Not only once but multiple times.
We went down to the busier streets.

I met my dad a few more times after that.
We ate and walked the streets.
We walked through a park.
We went to this street that was made as a dedication to a singer that passed away decades ago, but is still known for his music.
Forgive me, but I don’t remember his name.

I was using Tinder and I was so close to meeting a guy to hook up, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave 10 o’clock at night to meet him.
Too much suspicion, and I should have claimed my independence long before if I wanted to do that, or have left earlier and met up with him later.
But all the walking and meeting family tired me out, so I didn’t.
Plus, I was to meet my dad the day after earlier in the afternoon, and no way would I have been able to do that if I met up with him.
I also was talking to another guy. Nothing really happened, but now he says that he hoped that we met, but oops, too late.
He seems like a genuinely nice person.
Pretty cute, too. I would have digged it.
Kind of sad about not meeting him, if I did have stayed longer I definitely would have.

Meeting dad wasn’t easy.
Meeting his family wasn’t easy.
I know them, but some bad blood brewed over time.
But I think I’ve set this all aside.
If anything, it has helped me to moved past any negativity that lingered.

I must admit, I almost cried a few times.

I’m glad to be off this rollercoaster.
I’m glad to be headed off and have some stressed released with friends and drinks.
I’m ready to return to my life as it was, but better.
I’m ready to be active and join groups to find more people I can bond with.
I’m ready to be applying to jobs and hopefully find something, if not prepare for my move to British Columbia.

Whatever happens, I’m ready, and I’m ready to enjoy life.

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