Posted in Self-evaluation

39/365: Name tag

Hello my name is C. and I’m ready to shit myself.

I have a phone interview coming in about 15 minutes and I’ve been basically shitting myself for the past week.
Also because I have another interview tomorrow at 2:30PM and that is also making me want to shit my pants.
I hate job interviews.
But who can really say that they enjoy them?
I’m pretty sure interviewers don’t enjoy them either. I mean, why would they?
They could be spending their time on something so much more productive than having 10 minutes phone conversations with entry level interviewees fresh out of school.
Or maybe not all of them are fresh out of school.

I don’t even know what I’m going to say, the more I think about it, the more I blank out.
The more I feel like I am forgetting what I am going to say.
The more I forget how and why I am qualified.
And forgetting how my experiences relate.

10 minutes.
I need to put my phone on silent so that any message coming in doesn’t interfere with the phone conversation.
You can hear the vibration of the phone when you’re talking to someone.
Very noticeable.
Not a good start.

I am looking over my notes.
The little notes I have and thinking that I have underprepared.
I am trying to be calm and collected.
I am trying to tell myself that if I don’t get this job, it’s okay.
Everything will be okay.
You will be okay.
I will be okay.
But it would be nice if I got a job offer.
Would be nice…

What the fuck do I do.
Is my life going to fall apart?
I’m sorry but I’m going to bring this up again, it’s only going to delay my application for grad school the longer I take to find a full-time job.
Lord save me now and please let me graduate from masters in the next 5 years.
5 years from now I’m going to be 27.
Wow.
I hope I have a good job by 30.
Working in a hospital with seniors and elders and whoever.

5 minutes.
Peace out.

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